You used to stand in awe of God,
now you question everything 
you were ever taught he should mean to you. 
You question yourself in a reflection that I 
could never rehang on your bathroom door
or reassure with my emptiness 

burning cigarette holes into your shaking hands. 

I couldn’t bring myself to help 

the newfound shortness of your breath.

I wanted you too badly, kept you too broken 
by the slamming of a door you never had the strength to open.

I guess I eventually had to

use this like my first Tumblr. I thought I could avoid the day that I bled for 27 strangers like I used to for 2,000. I made this new one because my boyfriend was all over the old one, the old “me” and I thought I could bury her with the deletion of that blog. I don’t reblog things. I don’t write anything personal for this new blog, this conditional commitment that I use to browse through everyone else’s lives so I can avoid my own. Just like things, I said. Don’t reblog much, don’t post anything about yourself directly. But I can’t help it. Tonight I can feel myself letting go of him and it’s as much pain as it’s relief. I can’t just start over anymore. I am nothing of who I ever wanted to be and I am everything I tell myself I “used” to be. I hurt. I smoke too much, I sleep around and I don’t move forward anymore. And I don’t know why I want to confess this to 27 strangers. But I can’t not. So there’s a little piece of the cliche I live, on my own conditions and without any kind of commitment.

devonjohnsonworld
ontheeasterncoast:

aquabreeze:

princessmarshmallow:

ograes:

whovian-hetalian:

clarkkftw:

teamaequitas:

0hmykaty:

wearealljustrunaways:

savisintheclouds:

I literally felt like I did not have a choice.

Robin Williams says reblog, you reblog. 

…okay.

did i even really have a choice?

okay robin williams
i hesitated for a second and then considered the repercussions

just gonna reblog…

okk

Well, now I REALLY have no reason not to. <3

I remember this post from years ago. And of course I’m gonna reblog it today. Especially today.

too sad

ontheeasterncoast:

aquabreeze:

princessmarshmallow:

ograes:

whovian-hetalian:

clarkkftw:

teamaequitas:

0hmykaty:

wearealljustrunaways:

savisintheclouds:

I literally felt like I did not have a choice.

Robin Williams says reblog, you reblog. 

…okay.

did i even really have a choice?

okay robin williams

i hesitated for a second and then considered the repercussions

just gonna reblog…

okk

Well, now I REALLY have no reason not to. <3

I remember this post from years ago. And of course I’m gonna reblog it today. Especially today.

too sad

That awkward moment when you kiss a guy at the Met, totally fall for him but he doesn’t care whether or not you exist because, oops….you had sex with someone you didn’t know was his friend like…two days earlier. 

That’s my life.